I was asleep for 30 years, wrapped within my shadows while I escaped this world through dreams. I have faced my inner shadow for 7 years and it’s still an ongoing process. But I do find such an importance in doing the inner work.
When one is suffering tremendously in their own world, they have to recognize that they have choices to make. These choices can be as subtle as just a perspective change. People can fall into victimhood and stay there, maybe cause that’s all they know. They know only how to blame and count the many people who wronged them, and believe that everything happens to them. But guess what! Everything actually happens for you. It can be some tragic and messed up shit, but it is an experience. It is what you signed up here to face. Everything is playing out exactly as you had agreed upon before you volunteered to incarnate into this body, this life.
The moment you realize you are not who you think you are, you are instantly free. You no longer need to attach to the story about who they said you are. Did you even know that was possible? Did you ever bravely ask yourself this question and really searched for the answer? The thing is, who we think we are is actually an illusion. They are true in a sense of the physical human aspect but extremely limiting in the grander scheme of things!
The moment we label ourselves, we are limiting our very existence. You see, you are nothing and everything all at once. And this might be confusing.. how does that work and make any sense? Just stop thinking and be right here, right now, and FOCUS. We just are. It’s not as complicated as our egos like to make it. No one has to work their ass off to be at peace... all it takes is the recognition that we are peace.
We are all created from the Source God himself. And for those of you who question the existence of God. What God would make this happen? If we are God we have to ask ourselves, why would we make this happen? God had given us our own free will and that means we get to choose how this all begins and ends. We choose. This is the thing that many of you do not understand. We have a choice. We can choose to see life in a different light or we can choose to see life through a limited lens. Take your pick. That’s the beauty of free will.
When I discovered love and light, I was in awe because all I knew was the darkness. And even though the darkness was my “enemy”, it was also my sanctuary. When I woke up, love and light was a new discovery. Something that felt real but scary. We fear the things that we recognize but feel unworthy of having.. even though love is the very foundation of who we are. We have so much fear around the discovery of our true selves, the exploration of the depths of our existence. Where we feel we could look no further, out comes another trigger to bring out another demon we thought we tamed. But let me tell you about all this shadow stuff, it’s scary, it’s mysterious... and here’s the kicker to it all, it’s all a mind fuck illusion!
We are mainly reacting from a place that is either responding from a past trauma or a conditioned response without fully understanding why we respond in this way. When we don’t do the shadow work, we can’t heal or understand our old stories that made us act in this way. When we are not aware of our pain and its causes, we are also not aware of our reason to respond. And just a side note in case you’re new to this concept of choice, not everything deserves a response. Easy, right? Ha!
What I’ve learned about life as I unpeeled a lot of my own layering was that we are taught to take the long way and if we cut corners, there’s literally no joy involved. We aren’t taught that we don’t have to work hard for what we want. We simply and easily can consume what we need without having to go overboard to prove our worth. We don’t have to compare ourselves with anyone because if everyone stopped comparing or trying too hard, then we can all keep our energy and preserve it for things that actually matter. Our life force is so precious and we’ve spent so much time wasting it on meaningless stuff. We have spent so much time making an extra effort to try hard so people don’t judge us, so people will like us, so that we will be accepted and validated. I’m here to inform you that the moment we give our power away and look for validation and love and approval outside of ourselves, we also give them the power to take it away and control us forevermore! To that I say FUCK IT! I take all my power back and I don’t have to work hard for that love because I am love. Underneath all those limited labels we slap ourselves with, one must come to realize our true power is always within us.
Suffering is a choice. I’ve learned this the hard way. I had to step away from that comfortable place of victimhood because it’s all too easy and convenient to blame everything else around us instead of taking accountability. Unfortunate shit does happen! I am not excusing POOR behavior or wrongful acts that have been done, but any situation we have gone through gives us a lesson and we must make a choice. Do I choose to let this unfortunate circumstance rule my life or better yet, what is this unfortunate circumstance teaching me? What have I chosen to learn? It is easy to be a victim and stay there because we can get addicted to attention that we receive from our own misery... but then we will always be looking for misery to feed that emptiness inside.
After having a taste of freedom after I did some deep trauma healing, I decided to commit to myself full time. I can attest from my experience that it feels fucking good to be free from suffering. I have decided to make a life long commitment to always face my shit and that no matter what, I would rather choose to empower myself and rise above any bullshit story I accepted before incarnation and fucking own it!
I am a major advocate for self-love and facing the shadows. The further I went into the shadows, the further I was able to meet myself with so much love. You see, when you dive deeper and you choose to shine your light on the dark side, you’ll see that light conquers all. Light will always reveal what’s in the darkest corners and whatever hides in the darkest corners is usually just patiently waiting to be found and seen. It takes a lot of courage to see the things we have kept hidden.. but our suffering can sometimes stem from these powerful hidden treasures. They are beautiful, precious gems and once faced, all in the name of love, you will finally witness amazing and powerful life-changing shifts within you.