Updated: Aug 19, 2020
For most of my life since my early twenties and even before I was never fully healthy. I was chronically ill for a long time with pain and fatigue and all kinds of issues, especially digestive. I've come to learn that I'm a physical empath but I'm just now in my forties realizing the extent of how it affects me, especially when I'm physically feeling another or the collective. It took me a long time to even grasp the idea that my ups and downs were directly related to the collective energy.
This whole week my stomach has been killing me, I've not been able to eat or keep anything down. Anything I put in my stomach feels like a ton of bricks, even juice I had to sip slowly. It's like the energy is stuck and no matter what I do, I can't get it moving. I've been super nauseous and actually vomited twice which is unusual for me.
I have a beautiful Aunt, her name is Beverly, she's 65 yo and is ambulatory but very limited in communication with a mindset, as far as we know, at about early school age. She had a birth injury and has since been challenged with mental disability and cerebral palsy. And my other Aunt, her sister Bonnie takes care of her since their mom, my grandmother died two years ago. A few nights ago I was talking to Karen, my life partner about doing surrogate sessions since she so easily is able to connect and get out of the way. I said it would be wonderful if we could offer this service to people who need it. Beverly popped into my mind right away and I really didn't think about it again until I received a message from my Aunt Bonnie the next day that Beverly wasn't doing well.
She was unable to eat or keep anything down, she was having stomach pain, vomiting and getting really thin so they went to the hospital, which we usually avoid at all costs because it's very stressful for Beverly. She had testing done and saw she has a mass in her stomach sitting on an artery. It blew my human mind that I was having the exact same symptoms! And even after recognizing and validating that they weren't mine, they persisted.
At first, fear sat in. For Beverly. This initial response of we have to help her somehow! What can we do to help her? How can we help her heal from this? We have to DO something. But as it settled in overnight and I connected with her HS in the morning, I realized that this may be an exit point for her, that she's lived a beautiful life and maybe it's time to go home with her mommy. I asked her HS if she would speak to us in a session and I felt a positive response.
I spoke with my Aunt Bonnie about doing a surrogate session for Aunt Bev and she was all for it. She's the caretaker for Bev and the one entrusted to make all the hard decisions. She's already ruminating on worst case scenarios and how far to go with treatment considering quality of life. We spoke for awhile and I eased her fears. Karen agreed to be the surrogate.
So we used the BQH script with the strong intention to connect with Beverly. We called in her HS, healing team, guides, AA Raphael and any AA that wished to assist us. We landed in her current living room on her couch where she was flipping through a picture book. But the pictures were live memories, like movies she could jump into at will... Of the beach, the ferris wheel, the casinos with all the colors and lights that made her happy, family gatherings, her dog. Simple.
She was on the beach with her family and spoke of how free everyone felt there. There was so much to look at, the birds, the water, her feet in the sand seeing all the different people and faces around. Surrounded by her family whom she loves so much and she can feel the immense love they have for her. She loves when everyone is together.
She always feels free she says but when we're at the beach everyone else does too and she loves that. She says Mommy worries all the time about her well-being not understanding that she's always free. But when we're at the beach, Mommy doesn't stress because she knows Beverly is free here and she can relax. It was beautiful to see through her eyes and to hear her speak like that for the very first time in my life, I wasn't fully prepared for the emotional reaction I was having. So simple and pure, happy and free.
We explored for a bit, she sees the sacrifice the family has made for her and she's teaching them to come back to simplicity. LOVE sustains ALL. But she feels a bit sad that she's holding Bonnie back from her life, she has her family and new grandchildren now. She recognizes that Bonnie gave up a lot of her marriage to take care of her and Mommy. We asked of her pain and she says she has discomfort and that the medicine helps. She would also just like for someone to sit with her, to be with her, put a hand on her back. Presence. Something she's been missing since the death of her mother. While she's well taken care of, everyone is busy and always running around.
We called in her HS, it was a strong Higher Self in contrast to her small child-like voice. I asked about her pain and the stomach issues she's having. The HS said she holds the highest vibration of Love so she's like a vacuum for lower vibrational energies. She takes everyone's fear, worry, stress, doubt and transmutes it.
She takes our unnecessary baggage and returns us to homeostasis. She is The Keeper of the family. This is how the mass was formed. It was always a possibility and is a potential exit point depending on the next decisions made and Beverly's readiness and willingness. She trusts completely in Bonnie and the family and knows the extent of love they have for her and she will give the signs when she's ready to go.
The HS was unable to tell us if the mass is cancerous or benign but said it was 'dark', not evil but dark as if it were storing all the lower vibrational emotions. I should've asked more questions but was kind of stumped. We called in her healing team and AA Raphael who spoke through her. He had been there since the water alchemy and infused the water with his beautiful green energy. (When I spoke to Karen after, this was the only part she remembered. She said that she had another color in mind but then GREEN popped up really strong, she felt a presence and saw the green infusing into the water like dye. I thought that was really cool!)
He spent awhile infusing Beverly's whole body from crown to feet with the healing energy, concentrating specifically on her heart and problem areas. The stomach mass, her hands and legs, throat from not being able to vocalize (she has had problems swallowing) and transmuting the small amount of her own sadness and guilt. He also recommended warm water in the morning to help purify and continue the healing integration.
The HS offered us a lot practical advice on Beverly's care including food choices, elevating her legs for circulation, getting a squishy ball to help with the inflammation in her hands, she instilled memories of her mom to help her sleep better and more. The most important thing to her... Presence. That's all she really needs is presence. It was said over and over. Beverly is a simple being, caretaker in past lives who chose to be the care receiver this time...To allow, accept and receive care.
We asked if my grandmother was with them and of course, she is. She's never left. She's a constant source of love, support, and comfort and she plants thoughts in Bonnie's mind on how to better help and care for Beverly. She's a constant presence that Beverly can feel and is comforted by. She also tells her to ask my cousin Amanda for things because "she'll do it!" lol
I asked about my symptoms and how they relate to hers. The HS said that while Bev is the The Keeper of the family, I am the Family Channeler. She said that our resonance is similar and that I tune into the family when they send out distress signals....it's happened before, especially with my brother. Bev and I are intermingled with everyone, sewn into the very fabric of their beingness like a web. Bev brings simplicity to their lives, bringing them back to love over and over while I offer them understanding on the deepest level. And by channeling her symptoms, I'm able to give her a voice, help her transmute and validate her pain. I can ask her HS and/or Healing team for easing of the pain on her behalf and so can Bonnie.
I asked how I can release the symptoms. She said that I need to develop a relationship with my body, which I've failed to do in great detail as of yet. I seem to have trouble recognizing when it's not mine until I find out it's actually indeed someone else's. She said to ground, set the intention, and ask the body to release it. My human mind is still grappling with the possibility of this and the enormity of the responsibility.
The HS shared that my Aunts, grandmother and Dad have all lived multiple lives together flipping the scripts and roles. She said that this is Beverly's BEST LIFE! She's a happy simple soul and enjoys just BEing in her highest vibration of Love. She feels love and gives love and that's all she needs. Everytime someone sees her, they smile, it's an instant reaction to her vibration. She eats when she's hungry and sleeps when she's tired. She doesn't worry or stress or think. She knows how to just BE. This may be surprising to some but not to me, I always recognized the simplicity and joy of Beverly's life and how beautiful it is.
We ended the session with more healing by bringing in the light of Source with the Great Central Sun script.
I know this session will be healing for my Aunt Bonnie, hearing directly from her sister of her love and unwavering trust. I know it will help her be more comfortable and confident in the wonderful care she provides for Bev on a daily basis and ease some of her fear of the unknown future. Ease some of the sadness and guilt and worry. We asked the HS to send healing for Bonnie as well if she accepted.
Not surprisingly, I was able to eat for the first time in a week after the session. The HS of Bev told me to re-introduce food slowly and gave me some of the same advice for Beverly. I haven't heard yet how my Aunt Beverly is feeling but I have trust and faith that she received the healing she needed and to be honest, she's just fine, we needed the session more than she did.
Karen usually will remember visuals after a session but she was so adamant about getting pure information that she really relaxed out of the way and didn't remember anything at all. When it was over she felt as if she had been napping lol. And for me, I'm just beginning to understand the ramifications and extent of my physical empathship and what that means for me.